Can't Sleep.

Can't sleep have too much on my mind so I figured why not blog a little about my day.

Well let's see woke up at seven to my hungry little piglet, Fallon, got her fed then did a bit of net surfing all the while having a very intellectual conversation with my three month old...full of oos and aaas and all those wonderful first baby noises. I have been enjoying her noises soo soo much. She is also smiling tons!!! She is such a happy baby. She loves her mommy very much hehe!

About nine my monster got up and then my day got a bit crazy!!! Seems the crazy level in my house always goes up about 100 notches once he gets out of bed. We both ate cookies for breakfast...real healthy I know but I figure what the heck its the holidays and I made about 5 dozen cookies last night lol...we had them with milk so that balances out right ;). Sully and I spent the rest of our morning coloring and watching cartoons while Fallon slept in her boppy next to us on the floor. We spent our afternoon with me watching desperate housewives and Sully in my room watching more cartoons. I also cleaned cleaned cleaned my house...because I never do that, haha.

About seven Ryan got home made biscuits and gravy (yummy!) and we spent the rest of our night juggling our munchkins. Very interesting day in the life of us I know! Conversations with three month olds and three year olds, coloring, and cartoons! I totally love every minute of it!!!

Seems my typical day is ending badly though because I found out my mom isn't doing very well. She is in the hospital and has been for a month now and seems to be getting worse, although I am assured she is supposed to start getting better I just don't know how to feel. As most of you know I have a bad relationship with my mom, I haven't spoken to or seen her in almost three years and now I am thinking I am gonna have to break down and go see her, because if nothing else to ease my own mind. If she dies I will never forgive myself for not going and I will have that with me for the rest of my life, but if she's ok in the end am I expected to start seeing her and being a "daughter" again? So there lies my dilemma. Shall I stick to my values and not go or do I go? I mean no matter how far apart I have distanced myself from her she is still my mom right? So the obvious choice is go and see her...but on the flip side of that I feel I would be going solely because of selfish reasons, to ease my conscience because if she pulls out of this I won't be able to have a relatinoship with her, it's just too hard. I have given the woman so many chances in my life and she screws them all up and I am afraid if my kids know her she will somehow hurt them and I can't have that. Although like I said she is my mom. There is also this nagging feeling I have about being the oldest sibling. I am the oldest and in times like this feel I should be helping my younger siblings thru this trouble and be taking on the burdens that they are taking on. I am the strongest of all of us and I am sitting here on my butt having nothing to do with the entire situation isn't that selfish? God I am so confused. Am I selfish or am I doing the right thing? Who knows? I think I will go see my mom seems to me that is what I should do, if not for myself, for her, and my siblings so they have me to lean on. Yeah that's what I should do, that's the right thing to do.

Feeling Blessed!!!

Just wanted to tell everyone I love you all!!! I know I don't get to see people often but I try to keep in touch and I just feel blessed to have you all in my life. I have a wondeful husband and two (even though they have their moments) amazing children that love me to death! I have a wonderful grandma whom I just adore and look up to and appreciate immensly. Sisters who even though I don't see that often I couldn't imagine life without them and brothers I love so much! Parents who live too far away but are starting to finally show much more love an appreciation. Life is great! Money is tight...as it is with everyone, people keep rooting for us to fail not only financially but in our marriage as well and we just keep on trucking with our heads held high. So life is wonderful and I couldn't ask for more. A strong happy marriage, strong happy kids, wonderful family, great friends what more does a person need? So thank you all for being a part of my life and for making it that much better by being in it. I love you all and thanks for helping me to be blessed!!! I wish all of you the same.

Catching Up!!!

Well I haven't posted in a while but figured I have a few mins while Fallon is being content hanging with her daddy and Sully is watching cartoons I could jot down a few things.

Well first of all HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all!!!! I hope everyone had a great holiday and ate too much food!!! We had a wonderful Thanksgiving...aside from my dumb turkey taking waaay too long to cook. We had wonderful food and wonderful company. I missed my family that I didn't get to see but I did get to see some family that I hadn't seen in over two years, my little sisters! My brother and his girlfriend brought them to visit and oh man what a wonderful time that was. I have missed them soo much and to get to see them and introduce them to my kids and introduce my kids to them it was just blissful! They promise they are coming back before Christmas and I am gonna hold them to it!

Well lets see what else? Oh the kids! Fallon and Sully both had doc appts this month. Fallon weighs 11pds 3ozs and is 22inches long and is basically as healthy as can be!!! Sully is 46pds and 41inches tall!!!! He is HUGE!!!!!! He is also my little trooper! He got a flu shot and didn't even cry, not one tear, I was beyond proud of him for that! Sully also had a birthday! He is now three, and I am in shock, my baby is growing up waay too fast on me. His birthday was great we got him a cake and a new leapster and a few other games. He really got into opening his gifts so I am anxious to see him at Christmas when he has loads of stuff to unwrap. Fallon is doing great! Growing like a weed! She can hold her own head up and has started smiling when we talk to her and she is just happy to see us. She has also started trying to make some noises of her own but isn't quite as successful yet with the noises as she is with the smiles.

We have really had a very very busy November so far. Its been wonderful though I love staying busy. We got our Christmas tree up already and are gearing up for the busy month of December. Anyway that is a little about what our bunch has been up to!

Frustrated

Ok so I have a bit of a rant today. Why do people have to talk on their myspace profiles or facebook profiles about other people? Or change their mood to be talking about someone? It makes no sense to me. It's childish and frustrating and puts the party that is being discussed in this incredibly awkward position. Do you ask why? Do you ignore it and move on? Do you blog about it so you can get the feelings out lol? What is a person to do? Do you pretend this person is a good friend even though at some point they became more of an aquaintance than a friend? I am lost and not sure where to go with it. I am sooo tired of trying to be friends with people who would rather act like they are still in highschool and talking about people behind their backs and constantly partying instead of being a good mom, wife, husband, father, or friend. So I ask what's a person to do?

The weekend!

Well the weekend is almost over and what an interesting weekend it has been...or not lol. First of all it was Ryan's weekend to work all day on Saturday, I HATE HATE HATE those weekends. When he has that full day it feels like the week never really ends because we only get him home for a day and then its back to Briggs. Anyway that made the weekend start off sluggish just because I had nothing to look forward to then Fallon has been not sleeping for the past week and I am EXHAUSTED. She is not hungry, not wanting her paci ,not wanting anything, except for to be fussy and in the end that makes for one sleepy mommy. So I finally gave in and on Saturday called my father in law and asked for help. I hate asking for help but I needed some sleep, and to clean my house, and to shower. So anyway, after finally giving in while waiting for my father in law to come get Sully I got this plan in my head about what to do with the rest of my day. It was around noon, and I decided once Sully was gone I was gonna feed Fallon, then with any luck get her to sleep, take a quick shower, lay down for a nap, set an alarm, and then get up and clean. Well out the window went my plan! Sully left, I fed Fallon, and in the process of getting her to sleep fell asleep myself around one thirty or so and the next thing I knew I was waking back up and it was five thirty. Talk about sleepy!!! It felt good but I was mad I didn't get anything done. Why is it that when mom's get five minutes to themselves they feel they should be cleaning or cooking or just trying to get stuff done!? And then when we fall asleep instead of doing what needs to get done we feel guilty for taking some time to give ourselves some much needed rest or relaxation? Suppose that is one thing I need to learn because I am a mom who feels guilty for taking time to myself. I rarely get it, and even when I do I still feel bad for having gotten it. Anywho to wrap up my blog about the weekend....Sully stayed the night at grandpas...AWESOME stuff! Ryan and I went to bed at ten thiry last night...I felt old lol, down one kid and we were ready to pass out! I remember the days when it was like YAY no kid for the night lets stay up late, then we would still pass out at ten thirty haha! Man do kids take some energy but I love having them even if I am exhausted. We have spent our sunday doing mostly nothing. I made doughnuts this morning, we picked up Sully, and have been dealing with a cranky Fallon all day. Now its off to make dinner and get Sully in the tub in hopes of getting to bed by ten thirty again. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

A few basic facts!!!

Well hey everyone!!! Not sure why but I figured heck I am a stay at home mom I love the net why not start a blog lol!! I always need places to vent thoughts and shoot it could be fun! Anyway for those of you who don't know much about me at all or just not much about me these days. I am Amber..Dembkowski now used to be Workman! I am married to Ryan he and I have been married three years now and have been together for four. We have two kiddos! Sully Michael, who will amazingly be three on Tuesday I am in aww of that little fact. He is an adorable little monster lol but we love him! Next Fallon Elisabeth, who is just six weeks old but still has loads of personality already and is amazing us every day! Shes also an adorable little munchkin! I say munchkin simply because she's still too little to be a monster yet lol. We live in Manhattan,KS have lived here since '04 except for a short six month move to Pittsburg,KS last year. We love it here! Its small enough to not be overwhelming but big enough to satisfy that need for a city urge. Ry works at a dealership here in town..Briggs...he loves his job! He is such a people person and so dedicated to work. I am a stay at home mom. I love it! Being at home with my kids is such a rewarding experience in itself. Yes some days pulling out my hair sounds like a wonderful idea but most days that subsides because of a smile or a hug or a kiss because of the appreciation and love my son has for me or a coo or cuddle with daughter. Anyway those are just a few of the basic facts about our little family! I figured I would start with that and then go from there! Alrighty well until next time bye bye!!!

Kiddo Update!!!

Hey Everyone!!! Well Fallon is a month old already!!!! Its nuts! I think the first month in particular flies by so quickly. She is growing and getting bigger and bigger each day! At her one month check-up she weighed 8lbs 14 ounces and is now 21 inches long! So now she is at Sully's birth size lol. She can hold her head up and loves looking around and she smiles a lot, but we figure thats just gas lol! Sully adores her! He is always talking to her and shaking rattles for her to look at and cuddling up to her, and holding her! He has taken to his new sister very very well and thats about the best thing we could have asked for. Yes he is jealous a little but nothing that we can't handle. Ryan and I are doing great! Fallon is a good sleeper so that has helped us keep our sanity lol. I am doing great healing fine just learning to handle two kids instead of one! Anywho not much more to update about so HAPPY HALLOWEEN hope everyone has fun and is doing well.